Needing someone

Like most people I have a twitter account and one of the people I follow is 'Relationships 101'. I can't say that I am a huge fan of Twitter. Perhaps that is because I can't condense my thoughts into just a few words. I do try sometimes but it ends up sounding trite or boring to me. Anyways, Relationship 101 said this on Twitter in the past few hours:

"If u feel like u 'need' someone, then you've already given too much of yourself away..."

Apparently, already 100 or so people have re tweeted that statement which suggests to me that a lot of people agree that needing someone is not a good thing. It definitely puts us into a state of vulnerability, doesn't it? To need someone or something is to acknowledge that maybe we can't do without that person or thing. If we can't have that person or lose that person and we "need" them, then what will become of us?

To allow someone into your heart and/or into your life is a huge leap of faith really. You open up to them and even as you do so, a little part of your brain is already telling you that this will end badly. Even if you have tremendous fun and loads of laughter with enough love to keep your spirit warm for many a day, one day it will be gone. And, what then?

I think that we all have needs. We may not like to admit that because it is a bit scary at times to acknowledge that we have "needs"; that some things are necessary, maybe not to live, but to live well. It is more than just wanting something. It is something much more enduring than that.

Whilst there are undoubtedly statements you can make about all people or all women, generalizations are not all that useful to a writer, I find. Each individual woman has her own little list of needs and wants. I have a rather strong bent towards the woman with deep seated needs; with a strong desire to love and to be loved and to do a great deal in the name of love. Such a character is not following the doctrine of 'Relationships 101', I realize, and possibly that is to her detriment.

Yet, hope burns ever bright within and pain is the price she sometimes pays for her need for love. This provides her with challenge in life but it also brings her much joy. Her capacity for joy is impressive. The highs are high. The lows are low. She is just a woman following her instincts and doing her best. Much will depend on the men she meets and how they react to her need to give and receive love. But, that's another aspect of the story for another day.